A loyal sister is worth a thousand friends.

You are my light to which i see,
You create a world for me that i can not get enough of,
You are my half which makes me whole,
You are my soul that gives me life.

Without you i would be as lost as you seem now.
You are so much to me,
you hold me up when i feel like falling.
Everyday goes by and you are what keeps me going.
i take a step forward everyday
because I know that if i dont you wont either.

i know that I am your support.
I am what keeps you standing up,
i am the guide which keeps you straight.
i wish you would see that i am also your only hope.
Without me you would fall down,
and no one would be there to pick you up.
I save you from yorself.

You need to realize that I will always be there,
but you also need to try,
try at life, try to suceed.
I will be there to support you,
i will be there to hold you,
but i need you to want to be here.

I love you, and I need you just as much as you need me.
When no one understands, remember, I always will.

There is no better friend than a sister.
And there is no better sister than you.

When the clock stops ticking...

So life's been boring for a while.

The funnest thing in my life right now is my yoga class i take every Wednesdays with my two lovely Asian friends, Fiana and San. Its very relaxing and helps to takes my mind off other things. schools getting longer and longer, its seems like everyday just goes on for a life time. Me and my friend Maddie were discussing that today in math class, we both think school should be optional. Its the hardest thing in life, to get up and go to school every single day, and have to do the same exact routine every morning. Its boring and very depressing.

Some fun and exciting news, me and my best friends + chitra(aka my one true love) might be going to Chicago for march break. I'm so excited. I already have things picked out that are must do's when we get there, if we get there. I only say "if we get there" because usually our plans get side tracked or we hit a bump in the road and they get canceled. Fingers crossed that this time our plans actually work out. If we do go we're planning to stay with maleehas aunt, which should be fun, seeing as new york was fun and we stayed with one of her aunts also. if this trip is anything like the new york trip, then I can not wait, and i will be counting down the days.

As for family issues, they continue as usual. Fighting yelling and an occasional call to the police. Since my dad left, I think my mom is over whelmed and it scares her a little that shes doesnt know how shes gonna make it through these nine months without him. The other night my mom told my dad if she could she would run my sister over with a truck, so I think that means she cant handle it. I mean I try to help her, but when the situation gets out of control I back off because I dont want to take sides. Hopefully we all make it through the nine months alive.

Hopefully I make it through the next two years without dropping out of school.

It would've been different.

I could've saved you from yourself.
Instead of letting me in you let me go.

Now you're ruining your own life.
I thought you changed, I thought you were on the right track.
But i guess you proved me wrong once again.
Life's hard on everyone, i hate it when you act
like your the only one that has it hard!
Every ones life sucks, face it!

Now you dropped out of school again,
and to top it off your dealing drugs now.
I loved you and i wanted you to love me back!
And now look at you, you could've had so much.
Some how you keep coming back into my life.

I guess I'm gonna have to let you go eventually.

Who said life goes on?

WHY CANT I LET GO?!?
Why is it so hard for me to let go?
You were and are the only person I can think of!

My grades are slipping, my mind is boggled, my heart is broken, and you dont even care. When you left me you took my entire heart with you. I dont know when or if your ever gonna give it back. Theres a whole that cant be filled. You took a huge part of me that I'm never gonna get back. I feel sick everyday when I think about how i trusted you, and how i gave you chance after chance. Everyday i wish that you never existed, i wish that i could forget the last year of my life. You were the reason I had butterflies in my stomach every second of every day for a year, and now you're the reason I cry myself to sleep because of what you took.

Why am i always the one that gets hurt? I dont have anything else to give. You took my whole heart and now how am I suppose to survive?

How much longer will it take for my wounds to heal...