Took eighteen years to get this far,

In the last week I have gone from a sixteen year old girl to being a full grown adult, and the reason is indescribable. My life has been turned upside down and shaken a little. Just when I think everything is going in the right direction I find myself in the middle of problem that aren't even mine, but get put on my shoulders anyways.

Being a teenager should be simple. Party's, school, friends, and other mindless things. In my world that isn't the case. Family issues, drug problems, abusive relationships, and a lot of other messed up things, that's my life in a snap shot. Growing up you don't imagine the future being like this. I know that when people are going through hard times, they tell themselves, "there is always someone going through the same thing". It's not like that in my case. There is no one who knows what this feels like. Little problems separately by themselves, yes, but not everything put together.

It's funny how everything is all conjoined together. You never think of these things. When you're growing up playing and laughing together, you never stop and think, what is the future going to bring? But when you hit a certain age that's all you can think of. As teenagers growing in to adults we constantly want to know what the future holds for us and the people aroud us. We want to know, but then again, I think we're all scared to know. We like feeling the satisfaction of knowing what the next day will bring, but I don't think anyone would be able to handle knowing what will happen everyday. It would help, but it would be the most terrifying thing. You would always be waiting.

One day I hope everything makes sense. I hope that one day she explains everything to me. The reasons behind what she has been doing. Nothing makes sense right now, but I still have hope.