What is wrong with me!

I chickened out!
Can you believe that?! I was so close to going out with a really nice guy and me being the stupid fag that i am, texted him and said i didnt feel like hanging out today!

I did feel like hanging out but then my boring dull shy self took over and all of a sudden didnt want to anymore. How gay am I right. Wow, someone give me some advice, please??

I wanna go barry my self alive, that would probably feel much better then this right now. How do people do it, how do they just have the confidence to talk to anyone or say anything! Seriously maleehas right i have issues, like major weird fucked up issues. I'm making it harder then it should be!

Ughhhhh, wow i wanna know what its like to be confident, then maybe I'd be able to do it more.

Life friggin sucks.

PS. oh yeah chitra you can be my man :P love you hunny<3

PPS. someone come shoot me.