When the lights go out..

My mom called me in to look at an email she had just received from the school, and when I read it I honestly stood there in utter shock. The email stated that a grade nine girl at Cairine Wilson had committed suicide earlier this week.

There are so many things running through my mind, did I ever see her? did she see me? When something like this happens it's an eye opener, you sit in a corner and think to yourself why do things like this happen? Obviously we all know the reason, we just don't want to admit to it. We all know that this girl probably took her own life because she wasn't accepted as who she was, so she resorted to what she thought was the last option. Everyday we all make comments about people even if it's not completely intended to be an insult. We all choose to do or say things that we don't think through, we don't think about how it will affect those who are listening.

She probably heard everything people said, every whisper behind her back, every statement about who she was, but I wonder if anyone ever stopped to hear what she was saying. Maybe she was asking for help this whole time. Maybe she was screaming, but no one took the time to listen.

It makes me sit here and tear up because I am well aware of the fact that I myself have chosen to ridicule others. When something like this happens it hits you, you ask yourself why? why did I choose to say those things or glare at that person? I ask myself those things, and I honestly don't have an answer. At the time you just say things without realizing the damage your causing. It's ironic though because most people who make fun of others have been in there shoes before, I know I have. I know what its like to stand there and have someone stare at you and whisper things right in front of your face just because they don't approve of you.

I'm ashamed of myself. Tomorrow I will walk into school with my head hung down because I will be aware of all the damage that I might have caused. And I hope that many others will hold there heads down. Our school is filled with people that choose to ridicule the weak. It's wrong but we don't realize it until something like this hits us in the face.

I hope tomorrow many people feel the pain of what has taken place. My sympathy goes out to her family and friends.